Maybe I am a judgmental person. Maybe I am overly negative toward those around me. And maybe, just maybe, I have footing for this hateful opinion I’m going to be spitting. Hear me out.
There has been this horrible thing happening where people throw themselves into social media and allow the online mob to form their opinions. They become a live radio stream of other people’s thoughts. They regurgitate political issues, restaurant recommendations, and jokes again and again to people IRL that they have only experienced through a short-form 45-second video clip. When prompted to think further with simple questions, they go quiet. Perhaps needing time to form their opinion?
No.
Never. Because they don’t even know what they’re talking about enough to form a proper opinion. It is beyond frustrating to be in the company of a person like this for me.
My odd (and likely, petty) hatred started in high school. I shared an English class with a girl who was decently nice. In the 5 months I knew this girl, I quite literally only got to know her name. Her opinions were mine, reworded. Her contribution to conversations was short laughs and head nods. Even when I started to realize this pattern, I chalked it up to her being too shy to cut into the conversation. Making it a point to ask for her thoughts on our daily writing prompt or provided reading, she would say the exact same thing, every single time:
“ahaha…i don’t know.”
OH my god. Oh My God. Oh my god, no. I can’t do this. I couldn’t do it then, and even now, writing it, I am beyond pissy.
Yes, I understand this is a silly thing to be upset about. But what this epiphany (of hatred) did was open my eyes to just how common this archetype of a person is. Once I saw it, I saw it everywhere. And it has only gotten worse and worse with time. 10-day trends cycling in and out, posts with the caption “So, what backpack are we getting this year?”, writing down anything else will push me past my breaking point.
The foundation of my hatred for this archetype of person is a lack of authenticity. I refuse to believe the truest form of you is a mimic. If you feel yourself being hurt by these words, I urge you to take some time to reflect on yourself. What are the moments you feel the most ‘you’? When do you feel like smiling the hardest, laughing the loudest, like you simply belong? Are there styles of clothing that make you feel beautiful, pieces of jewelry that feel like they were always meant to be there? A certain song you sing more passionately because the lyrics touch your soul?
Explore those moments, things, songs, if so.
Yes, I too love the quote “I am a mosaic of everyone I’ve ever loved”, but the foundation of those pieces of tesserae is substrate. Cement, caulk, glue. There is so much more to you than what you’ve gathered for others; you must explore who that person is. More people need to remove themselves from the echo chamber of what’s trendy and cool and discover things that fit the person they are.
En sum: Through writing this, I have realized my anger for these types of people isn’t a cruel one. It is one that comes out of frustration. You are so much more. Find that person. Embrace them. To not is depriving yourself of a lifetime of moments that have that special ‘yeah, i’m right where i’m meant to be’ feeling.
whimsy word vom (dot com) 
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